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Better Living Through Better Dreaming Part Three: Occupy Elm Street, Take...
I’ve been shot. I’ve been chased. I’ve performed a play I have never rehearsed. I’ve fallen off cliffs. I’ve drowned. I have taken tests for which I had not studied, nor been aware of. I have seen...
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Better Living Through Better Dreaming Part Four: Lucid In the Sky With Diamonds
So there I was, about to lead an army of Jedi into battle. Everything was in place–our lightsabers were humming, our robes were flowing, our Jedi mind tricks were, uh, tricking, and as we stood there...
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Vanity’s Fare
I have sometimes, mostly by accident, thought that I was cool. Those times don’t come around that often, so when they do, or did, I seized them with an impulsive kind of violence akin to a man dying of...
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Communication Breakdown Part One: A Little Introduction Which Lacks A Witty...
I’m no zoologist, but I’m going to go out on a scientific limb here for a second and make a bold claim: the human animal is a very chatty breed. Dare I say the chattiest? Well, I don’t know. I’ve lived...
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Communication Breakdown Part Two: Get Your Vulcan Point Across
I will boldly state what no one has maybe ever stated before: every person working in management should watch this one episode of Star Trek. Now hold on, okay? Before you break my glasses and threaten...
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Communication Breakdown Part 2.5: Askin’ For it
Okay. Before I return to the regular scheduled programming, I feel compelled to go slightly off-topic for just a second. All this meditating on communication bubbled this thought right to the front of...
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Communication Breakdown Part Three: Argument Club
I have never been in a bar fight. But I have at times created scenarios in my mind in which they play out–scenes in which I have just witnessed a friend or lover or loved one, or even a total stranger,...
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Treasure Island
I was once what could accurately be described as a Lego Maniac. My time in Legoland was lived before Star Wars, Harry Potter, or Batman had slipped down their corporate gullet, so our choices were...
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There
The cloth from which I am cut–Nordic, stoic, seasonal affective disordered–has made me congenitally predisposed to love summer with all the fury of a Led Zeppelin tune. My most ancient aunts and...
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The Antisocial Network: How to Get Rid of Social Phobia Part One
I come from a people for whom the natural and immediate reaction to almost anything is deep and crippling fear. Like most congenital qualities, I think it’s lessened over generations, so my poor...
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The Antisocial Network: How to Get Rid of Social Anxiety Part Two
If cartoons are to be trusted–and let’s be real here, because they are–one can assume that the underdog will have his or her day. Literally, Underdog had his day many times. It usually ended with...
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Be The World’s Least Pampered Chef Part One: Two Eggs, One Cup
If left to my own devices, I suspect it would take me approximately ten days to resemble Jabba the Hutt. Just like our favorite jolly intergalactic gangster, whose belly is want to shake like a bowl...
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Better Living Through Better Dreaming Part Three: Occupy Elm Street, Take...
I’ve been shot. I’ve been chased. I’ve performed a play I have never rehearsed. I’ve fallen off cliffs. I’ve drowned. I have taken tests for which I had not studied, nor been aware of. I have seen...
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How to Get Rid of Stage Fright
What would you rather do: fall into a pit of asps or give a Ted Talk? If you are like most Americans, you would choose the asps. According to a 2010 gallop poll, the most common fear in the United...
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Fair Street: It’s Time For The Great Minnesota Get-Together
Today is the last chance for the people of Minnesota to celebrate our favorite state. As long as that state is Minnesota, and as long as they are going to the Minnesota State Fair. I have never been to...
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Back To School Special
“And then, quite suddenly, summer was over. He knew it first when walking downtown. Tom grabbed his arm and pointed gasping, at the dime store window. They stood there unable to move because of the...
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Better Living Through Six Acting Skills
I am sometimes an actor, and though I don’t do it often anymore, it’s something that has really shaped my non-theatrical life in pretty enormous ways. Would I go so far as to say Everything I Need To...
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To Nintendo: Thanks For Everything, Love, Andy Browers
Nintendo was the name for god on the lips and hearts of American children growing up in the 80s and 90s. Its appetite was for our time, and we set at its alter more sacrificial hours of our little...
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I See A Fresh Pot And I Want To Drink It Black: Better Living Through Coffee
Things I was promised coffee would do to me if I drank it as a child: put hair on my chest, make the hair on my head curly, make the hair on my head fall out, stunt my growth, give me a heart murmur,...
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Maxim Overdrive 2: A Play On Terrible Horror Movies About Evil Trucks and So...
In my endless search for wisdom, I have mined sources both respectable and ridiculous in order to create this ongoing series, an exercise in adopting maxims to improve your life. And here are four more...
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